Comments on: Awesome Foo Fighters rider: "Bacon. I call it "god's currency." Hell, if it could be breathed, I would."

Awesome Foo Fighters rider: "Bacon. I call it "god's currency." Hell, if it could be breathed, I would."

porn in the woods — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:07:09 -0800

In the wake of Iggy Pop's high-larious tour rider, Foo Fighters have updated their 2008 rider (earlier rider here.) Full of jokes about Dio and bacon witticisms, you've got to admire these hardworking young men, for, as they say, "We are just another bend trying to make enough money to fuel our private jet. Please help."

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:07:50 -0800

g'damnit, another BAND trying to make enuf money...

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:14:05 -0800

Ol' Dave reads USA Today. Minus 3 Cool Points.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:15:46 -0800

But he drinks POM juice. Plus 6 Cool Points.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:16:56 -0800

He uses Tom's of Maine deodorant. Plus 3.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:18:37 -0800

Yet he is anti-Slim Jim. Minus 8 Cool Points.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:21:15 -0800

Here you are again reading the famed Foo Fighters Hospitality Rider. Aren't you the lucky one? It's not as funny as the Iggy Pop rider... True.

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:24:25 -0800

I read this yesterday and surmised they are gettin' a lot of free socks. They are all old married-type rockers. No requests for shark porn, green m&m's, condoms or vibrating disposable cock rings... But that sock thing is brilliant.

By: stevehnsn

stevehnsn — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:25:28 -0800

Dave would kick Kurt's ass.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:27:00 -0800

I don't get these things. Food, sure. But socks? Can't they just send out one of their PAs to get socks? Every time I read one of these tour riders it sounds like the band is a bunch of guys in wheelchairs and colostomy bags, too feeble to do anything except play their music. How hard is it to bring your own POM on the tour bus?

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:30:38 -0800

I always have my manservant bring the POM. Doesn't everyone?

By: nosila

nosila — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:31:20 -0800

GuyZero: it's a lot easier if you don't have to do it.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:47:17 -0800

Every time I read one of these tour riders it sounds like the band is a bunch of guys in wheelchairs and colostomy bags, too feeble to do anything except play their music. GuyZero: On a large world tour like these, all the accompanying personnel are doing several more important things at once, and nobody has time to go to the store and get sandwich meat and towels or whatever, besides the fact that you might be in Utrecht or Tokyo or wherever and have no idea where to even go to buy that kind of stuff. On an east coast tour of some indie band, sure, someone can go to the store and get beer. On the other hand, I know The Stooges are legendary and respected now, but the idea of them requiring a bottle of Grey Goose and ginger tea for Iggy in the dressing room sort of ruins my image of them. Back in the 70s heyday, I'd like to imagine it was more Thunderbird, some Fritos and a balloon of heroin.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:53:33 -0800

So here's a question — in a setup like this, is the band paying the venue back for all the kielbasas and DVDs and clean socks and whatnot? Or is the venue eating the cost?

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:56:26 -0800

*coughcough*

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:00:29 -0800

So here's a question — in a setup like this, is the band paying the venue back for all the kielbasas and DVDs and clean socks and whatnot? Or is the venue eating the cost? The venue/promoters pay, it's part of the compensation for the band. However, the money they make off a show by a band like The Stooges or Foo Fighters makes the cost of backline rental and some beers and sammiches look like nothing. Even rider requirements that seem totally ridiculous are often necessary: for example, the oft-cited Van Halen brown M&Ms thing was in the rider as an indicator to assure that the promoters actually read it, and they started doing it after they had shows where, for example, the weight of their equipment totally destroyed the floor of an arena because nobody had read and implemented the requirements in their rider.

By: gorgor_balabala

gorgor_balabala — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:03:36 -0800

*coughcough* Ooh! Plus 8 points.

By: tapeguy

tapeguy — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:10:52 -0800

Seventy nine people to help a band lug their shit around on tour? I'm sure they could manage with half that.

By: Mr_Zero

Mr_Zero — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:16:35 -0800

Seventy nine people to help a band lug their shit around on tour? I'm sure they could manage with half that. Did you see their last tour? They had a giant stage setup.

By: Parasite Unseen

Parasite Unseen — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:26:04 -0800

these hardworking young men The average age of the members of the Foo Fighters is 38, and they've been active as a band for the past 13 years. While this is considerably younger and less experienced than Iggy Pop, I'd still call it a stretch refer them as "young men" by rock standards.

By: dersins

dersins — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:38:51 -0800

"**P.S.S We will need four (6) rooms, architecture willing..." Good luck with that. That's some seriously willing architecture.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:46:41 -0800

I read these and I just think of all the times they've rolled into a venue somewhere and had crap soup, dirty towels, and soda pop with no fizz.

By: jouke

jouke — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:56:37 -0800

Decemberboy you might be in Utrecht or Tokyo or wherever You make Utrecht sound as such an exotic place. Thank you.

By: oaf

oaf — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:01:31 -0800

Seventy nine people to help a band lug their shit around on tour? I'm sure they could manage with half that. Are you with Shubert or Jujamcyn?

By: rokusan

rokusan — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:02:57 -0800

These are great. I really look forward to a spiral of more and more nonsense in more and more band riders, all followed by the punch-line of a lawsuit where one party attempts to enforce some of the serious aspects only to have a judge throw the whole thing out because of the tomfoolery. Do you suppose there's a severability clause? "If any term of this contract should be ruled ridiculous or asshattish by a court of competent authority, the remaining clauses shall still stand in force."

By: Tube

Tube — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:24:19 -0800

This takes me back to the golden days before the World Wide Web. You see, our sideshow rider included things like clear glass light bulbs, meal worms, crickets, a cucumber, and a can of ravioli. These were actually used in our act, and were not simply convenience items. We managed to get a mention of our strange rider in USA Today, shortly before Lollapalooza 1992.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:26:32 -0800

You make Utrecht sound as such an exotic place. Thank you. Well, it was the first foreign place name that came to mind for some reason. If I was there, however, I'm sure I wouldn't immediately know where to go to buy towels, which was all I was getting at.

By: cowbellemoo

cowbellemoo — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:16:00 -0800

FOOS RECIPE FOR ICE: Get some water... Brilliant.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:24:21 -0800

True; it is terribly difficult to find clean towels in the Netherlands. They've all had two lips on them. Please don't cut my face.

By: softjeans

softjeans — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:49:46 -0800

I like that ref. to "the guy from Nirvana"...

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:50:26 -0800

The Foo Fighters are a very eerie pop culture phenomenon. They've made a career out of singing love songs to a dead man.

By: inigo2

inigo2 — Fri, 16 May 2008 06:33:30 -0800

our sideshow rider included things like clear glass light bulbs, meal worms, crickets, a cucumber, and a can of ravioli. What band??

By: cavalier

cavalier — Fri, 16 May 2008 06:56:48 -0800

foo's 2008 rider page 5 -- "I WILL CALL OUT A CATERING JIHAD IF WE DO NOT HAVE THESE CUPS". Ok, I'm sorry, I've read a lot of tour riders, that is just fucking brilliant.

By: Leon

Leon — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:09:42 -0800

The Foo Fighters are a very eerie pop culture phenomenon. They've made a career out of singing love songs to a dead man. For suitably small values of "sing". Am I the only one who hears DG live and wanders away shaking his head?

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Fri, 16 May 2008 09:29:49 -0800

These are pathetic. Its just some millionare rockers fucking with poor people's jobs. Someone with a low paying gig is going to have to run around town for a Bob hope impersonator, shark semen, and raspberry flavored condoms so these goons can chuckle at people who aren't stars. Yeah, hilarious if youre 12. How is this any different from dilbert/devil wears prada asshole boss?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:29:14 -0800

Oh my God, Iggy's rider is a work of art. Sheer bloody genius. The Foo Fighters' is a pale, pale imitation.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:34:51 -0800

oh, and dda.. it's my experience that really, really outrageous demands like that are, like the VH M&Ms thing, just there to make sure people are reading. I'm pretty certain that someone from the venue calls the tour manager and has a conversation that goes "So do you really need a Bob Hope impersonator? No, okay then."

By: knowles

knowles — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:19:15 -0800

I feel sorry for the venue guys that have to slag through all this high-larious wit to get to the actual content and information in these riders. Yes, you probably want new clean socks and gallons of ice cream every night for your luxury motorcoach. Maybe try being concise. No one wants to read 20 pages to find out what kind of beer you want backstage.

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Fri, 16 May 2008 19:21:11 -0800

OK, did anyone else, upon reading the top of page 2 of the Pixies rider, exclaim, "one House WHAT???"

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Fri, 16 May 2008 19:42:12 -0800

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT NO ANIMALS ARE ALLOWED IN THE BACKSTAGE AREA AT ANYTIME DURING THE DAY.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Sat, 17 May 2008 00:16:55 -0800

knowles, if you've ever actually had to read one of these fuckers for work, getting the salient points is a highly trivial exercise. I'd venture to guess that the venue people welcome this as a respite from the dull monotony (punctuated by periods of sheer terror and jesus christ I have to make this happen right fucking now) that is the life of the average backstage person.